Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Dear Destini

Your name is still Destini. I mean you have been called a few things like Bami, Bumba, Bambi, Ghost, LOL and you’ve definitely called yourself a few like Blacque and Monet with reasons only known to the 27 year old you. That’s right, I am 10 years older than you!

You are about to apply for UCAS and it won’t be as straightforward as you think. You are going to re-write your personal statement three times and even though everything you have done has been leading up to this moment, you are not going to apply for medicine or law with business. Turns out, as smart as you are, you do not like taking tests and the BMAT was a bitch, excuse my French!
I don’t remember what you end up getting into university for but you didn’t enrol. You took a year off and worked at River Island for a year before ending up at the University of Birmingham to study Biomedical Science. This was an accident and 7 years on, I strongly believe that more than anything.

Cherish the next few months along with the next year, they’re going be the best you are going to have for a really long time. This new age thing called Social Media, mainly Facebook and Twitter, will happen and you are going to connect with a lot of people that make you feel more important than you actually are. It will dominate your life. You won’t even be able to sit through a Neuroscience lecture without checking twitter or tweeting something to make yourself seem hilarious. As much as you love it, you will hate the fact that people will tag you in pictures of you having the time of your life and yeah, you guessed it, you don’t look hot in any of them.

You are going to have your heart broken and you are going to have it broken again; every new one worse than the last. Don’t worry, you’ll live. Even when you think you can’t or you don’t want to anymore, you will. Feeling everything the way that you do creates an intensity about you, an energy that defines who you are. It is something so deep, no one understands it, sometimes not even you but it is oh, so beautiful!

You will end up finding love in all the unexpected places. You will spend time occasionally worrying about being single and will develop a fear that it’s a state that you’ll live in forever. You’ll be fine! You won’t compromise on what matters to you and well, I see that as a strength even though it won’t always feel/seem that way.

I guess I should include some advice in this: LOVE HARD, say YES to everything. Seize all opportunities and push outside your comfort zones. Don’t waste time doing things that don’t make you happy and never base any decisions on your “friends”- its played out like an 8 track. Don’t procrastinate watching movies. Read a lot of books and don’t compare your life to anyone else’s. Hold on tightly to empathy, it is tightly linked to your purpose and don’t forget to look out for yourself occasionally. I promise, it is not selfish, it is self-preservation.

Ultimately, you’ve spent most of your adolescence trying to be perfect and maybe you were for a while but the pressure to keep that going will eat at you until you’re me. The older you get, the more intense that feeling is and it will almost destroy you. You will laugh about it, cry about it, doubt yourself endlessly and everything will seem like it is not enough but somehow, it will all start to work out.

Till next time, mi Hermana (that’s right, you finally started learning Spanish)

Love Always,
Grown Up (ish) Destini


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